God is NOT a matchmaker

This has been something I have been thinking about over the past few months and since I sort of feel like I have to play catch up on everything going on in the past few months I felt like I should share. I was taking a shower - which is usually guaranteed quiet time with God - no interruptions and nothing to be distracted by. I was thinking about how I pictured God working in my life in regards to my relationships - or lack thereof. I have never really been in any dating relationship and have not felt like I missed much either. Don't get me wrong I have had a spirit of loneliness looming over my shoulder. I know what it feels like to be feel worthless and rejected but that is nothing compared to the love and attention I receive from Jesus Christ himself. As I said before I am definitely not one to share my personal life even with close friends I find myself choking on my words. As I am learning to put myself out there - even if right now this feels like I am typing a diary only to be seen by me, I have learned I need to share ALL that God is doing in my life and this is part of it. So back to being pursued by my Savior. A few years ago I was in Gods presence and had one of those God moments that changes you life forever. I was laying on my back and in perfect peace when I had a vision. I probably had visions before but this is one of the first visions I recognized as being from God right away. So when I saw myself on a cliffside overlooking the ocean I was a bit confused as to how to respond. Should I continue watching? Should I treat this as a dream? should I wake up to reality? I decided to keep watching. As I walked closer to myself I noticed I was crying. Well, sobbing I guess would be better way to describe it. I had my head buried between my knees as I clasped both shins with my arms. I could tell I was miserable but didn't understand why until a man approached me from behind and right away I recognized it as Jesus. I could not tell you facial features or describe a physical appearance to you but I knew His Spirit no matter what he looked like on the outside I knew what His heart looked like. As He approached He lovingly put his hand on my shoulder and knelt down to where I was sitting in a ball. His face was right next to mine as He quietly asked "What's wrong?"; even though I knew He already knew. I looked over at Him as if I had seen Him thousands of time before and simply stated "Its not fair....Its not fair I am here alone once again. Whats the point if I do not have anyone to share this with. I want to be held by a real person - someone I can see, hear and feel on a regular basis." I would have continued my little rant further but it was then I realized that I was not the only one sobbing. I looked up and saw tears starting to form in my Jesus' eyes. I gasped for a breath of air as I realized I just broke my Savior's heart. Then it was my turn to ask "What's wrong" although I already knew the answer. I knew that Jesus had been everything I needed from this life and more and that I was taking Him for granted. Yet He took me off guard when He responded "Honestly, I am not ready for you to be in love with anyone else." I had to gasp for another breath. It hit me all at once it was not about me - it was about Him. He was jealous for me. He wanted me all to himself. That answer was better than anything I could have known. I was the apple of His eye so to speak and nothing could have compared to how I felt. I was overwhelmed and when He continued with a question that I have had to answer every single day since I barely could even speak. He asked Can you wait until I am ready? He could barely ask the question. The moment was so intimate that its hard to put it into words. To finish the story, I managed to quietly answer Yes. As I said before i have had to remind myself and answer that question everyday since. This brings me to the point. God is NOT a matchmaker. He loves to watch those he loves fall in love but he is not some old lady like from Mulan or the fiddler on the roof who takes status and money and power or even personality into account to make a match. He plays more of Will Smith's character Hitch type of role. He creates opportunities, He gives us the pat on the back, maybe even tips or pointers on how to relate to the other person but He is by now means some stranger that looks at the characteristics of each of us and puts us together like barbie and ken dolls. If He did, His church would not have the same divorce rate as everyone else. If all relationships were completely controlled by God then all relationships would be perfect. God isn't a puppeteer, He is a father. Whether or not we take His advice or whether or not we even ask for it is up to us. There is no reason not to ask Him because who better to ask how to relate to our significant other than the One who not only knows them better than they know themselves but also know us but than we know ourselves. He loves us more than we could ever comprehend and although every single relationship has its downfalls He truly wants us to be happy. With all of this said, He will do whatever it takes to keep us in a good and healthy relationship but if we ignore Him and if He is not the center of that relationship we are not giving him much room to work. I may or may not be ready for a relationship but what I have realized is that it isn't about me - its about Him. The question is Is He ready for me to be in a relationship? I have complete faith that when He is I would be the first to know.